I have to confess, I don’t find blogging to be particularly easy and I am not as disciplined as I would like to be about posting. I love writing stories, and I love writing about true events. But I find myself second guessing what to actually post about at times. I have fictional tales I could be posting, but I have been told by many people that I have a lot of personal stories I should be using. But again, the hesitancy arises. I feel uncertain if people actually want to read about stories that have occurred in my life. I did not want to use blogging as a way to talk about myself. There is also an element of fear that goes along with this idea of writing. I would be revealing stories some people may not know and giving away my personal thoughts and feelings. After much deliberation and anxiety, I have decided to push past the fear and try this new writing journey. Some stories may be lengthy, some will be short. I will try to entertain as best I can. I will try to create stories that hold the factual elements of what really has occurred so that I am not just droning on about my life. Some stories may be rougher than others. Some may be absolutely ridiculous. I don’t know if anyone will find them interesting, but I need to work past my fears and put all of my experiences out there. I fear I may be making myself too vulnerable with this; however, I am going to have to be accepting of that. I will still be working on my fictional projects as well and I will continue to post excerpts from time to time. Hopefully, with all of my projects, I will not disappoint.
A little girl’s world was shattered when she was just ten. Not by anything desperately sad or particularly terrible, but it was rather dramatic in her young mind. You see, she had been perfectly content and happy with how her life was. She had her family and her best friends. What more could a little girl want? However, one evening, the devastating announcement came that her parents were going to switch the church they were going to and go to a new one instead. Disbelief set in quickly. What would she do without her best friends? Her best friends were from that church and she could not imagine not seeing them every week. They were all she had known. She was also scared. She was scared to meet new people and start a new routine. She cried and begged her parents not to do this but they were resolute. In her mind, her world was over. Her social life would become obsolete. What the little girl didn’t realize that yes, although her life would change, it was not going to be the desolate existence she was imagining. The change that would occur would affect her in so many ways for the rest of her life. Because on that first Sunday, she would meet another little girl who she would become fast friends with rather quickly. From their first meeting, the little girl knew she had a found a kindred spirit in this girl. The hospitality and friendliness were hard to ignore. This girl invited her over immediately and a wonderful friendship was born. They were an interesting looking pair of friends as the little girl was a taller blonde and her new friend a tiny brunette; however, it didn’t matter to them. From the first night of watching the Little Rascals to many days of being silly, sleepovers, eating Ramen noodles, and dreaming. To going and watching marching bands, her continual education of movies she had missed out on, surprise birthday parties, and being tortured by her friend’s brothers (of course by torture, this little girl had still had a blast). This little girl felt so welcome and adored by her new friend’s family. The list was an endless stream of times where happiness was always felt. This friendship went along these lines for three years. It was a strong friendship. Those were some of the most important years in that little girl’s life but she didn’t realize that at the time. She didn’t realize her best friend would be one of the most unconditional, most thoughtful, and would be someone with the biggest heart she would ever encounter in her life. Yes, she realized she had a great best friend, but she wouldn’t realize and understand the value of that friendship until years later. After the first three years of their blooming and strong friendship, the blonde girl started becoming restless. She was becoming more self absorbed and wanted to be back in the lives of her old friends. She finally made the decision to go back to them. She wanted to be a part of their lifestyle so badly. It seemed a bit more glamorous to her. However, she firmly believed her strong and newest friendship would hold steady. How naive of her. How blind she was to the level of selfishness she was reaching. She was too busy trying to fit back in with her old friends that she put the friendship with someone so wonderful on the back burner. Eventually their friendship would begin to fade. The little blonde girl, who was now a teenager, could not fit her friend in her life anymore. She became too busy and concerned with other, less important,activities in her life. She would see her friend from time to time over the years but it wasn’t the same. She would go hang out from time to time and even went to the Christmas dance with her friend’s group. Yes, they would have fun times but that’s all they were; fleeting moments in the vast expanse of teenage years. After a few more years, the blonde girl, at seventeen, and on the verge of adulthood, started missing her friend. She missed the realness of their old friendship; she missed the kindness. She made the decision to start making an effort. She started making time for her friend again. She started dropping by and seeing her from time to time. The effort was paying off. She felt that she, once again, had a true friend. The thing that astounded her the most; made her realize the value of her friend, was that after all these years, she was accepted back as if nothing changed. It didn’t matter that there were lost times. Her friend welcomed her back unconditionally as if that last few years of being apart had never happened. Her friend was not only outwardly beautiful, but she had the inner beauty that most people could not match. The world seemed right again as they began to re-establish their friendship. But then, once again, selfish ways would cause the now seventeen year old girl to make decisions that would end up haunting her for a long time. What she didn’t realize, what she couldn’t know, how much it would cost her down the road. She didn’t care much for church those days. She still doesn’t. But she was willing to go with her friend again, just like the old days, for nostalgic reasons. However, a better offer in the form of a boy came along the night before. She had decided to hang out with him instead, causing her to be out way too late and missing church. This happened a few more times with a different boy that was friends with both of the girls. Unfortunately, she had already had a boyfriend at the time but was terrified by his pronouncement of love for her after only three months as well as his talks of marriage. She was only seventeen. So she began to seek solace elsewhere. But the fear of breaking it off with her boyfriend was too great. She wasn’t sure what she wanted and she had a lot of outside pressure that she should stay in the relationship. She felt lost. She didn’t know where to turn or what to do. She finally decided to stay with her boyfriend and stopped her other pursuits. She felt it was her only option at this point. She believed that maybe her life would be better, and maybe she would fit in more with her original circle of friends. She wasn’t truly happy but she believed maybe she was meant to just settle. She began to let the controlling ways of her boyfriend slowly take over her life. Her once re-established friendship began to wane yet again with her dear friend. Once her boyfriend finally found out about her various pursuits from earlier in the year, he demanded she cease all communication with her friend, because in his mind, she was the source, as to why his girlfriend was wild. She begged him not to be that way. She explained over and over and over again that her sweet friend had nothing to do with her wildness. She told him that her friend even advised her on several occasions she needed to stop her pursuits or break it off with her boyfriend. But his mind was made up. He threatened to break it off if she didn’t do as he said. In hindsight, she should have just let it be broken off. But she was so brainwashed and consumed by him she didn’t have the strength to. So with great turmoil and sadness, with regret and confusion, the now almost eighteen year old girl cut her once best friend completely out of her life. She didn’t speak to her, she didn’t see her, and she avoided her. Because she was terrified if she was weak and gave into the temptation to talk to her, she would lose everything. Years would pass. She missed her friend’s graduation. She missed birthdays. She missed meeting her boyfriend. She missed her wedding. And she missed the birth of her beautiful daughter. She had missed some of the most important moments in her friend’s life. And how sad that made her. She herself was married now. Married to that same boy she had allowed to have complete control over her life. Then the news came; the devastating and inconceivable news that her precious friend had cancer. Cancer. The dreaded word no one ever wants to hear. A brain tumor had been found. That girl’s world was shattered again, but it was shattered in a dark and terrible way. She wanted to go to her friend immediately and beg for forgiveness. But her husband would not allow it. After all of these years, he stood firm with his thoughts on the matter. He told her she had no reason to go because her friend wasn’t dying. She was distraught to say the least. She didn’t know what to do. The pain she had in her heart was unbearable. How did she let this happen? How had her life come to this? Her frustration with the situation increased. She grew weary of living under his thumb. She didn’t know what to do anymore. She once again felt lost and she felt heartbroken. She was also angry; angry at herself for being so weak. She was angry at him for being beyond reason. Resentment towards him set in slowly. She kept receiving updates from her sister regarding her friend’s condition over the next months. It was worsening. There seemed to be nothing that could be done. After several months, it became clear her friend wasn’t going to make it. She finally persuaded her husband that it was time for her to be able to visit her once best friend. He finally conceded with conditions. She couldn’t go alone. She would need to go with her sisters. Angry at his continual stubbornness regarding this situation, she began to grow bitter. However, she was going to take this chance and go. The day she walked in and saw her friend sitting there in the familiar family room, her heart broke. She looked the same yet different. She didn’t know what to say. She was glad her sisters were there. She felt rescued. She had no words. No words to explain her terrible behavior the past years, no begging for forgiveness. She was broken inside. She had missed everything in her friend’s life. She should have been there for her from the beginning. After that visit, she decided to write her friend a letter. She was always better at expressing her thoughts and feelings that way. She wrote to her, apologizing and trying to explain. She knew she didn’t deserve her forgiveness but she needed to tell her why she had been absent for so long. She needed to tell her how truly sorry she was. She finished the letter and mailed it without having her husband knowing. She deleted the file from her computer just to be safe though now she wished she hadn’t. She wanted to see the words again that she had written to her friend. Although her friend was living longer than expected, she eventually began to deteriorate over time. She tried to be there for her as much as she was allowed. She texted her and tried to stay in touch. She admired her beautiful brunette. She still managed to stay active and was even traveling. But that didn’t surprise this blonde girl. Her tiny friend had always been strong and tenacious. One day, her friend needed someone to stay with her all day and asked the blonde friend to come stay with her. The petite brunette could not know or understand how much this would mean to her blonde friend. The blonde girl was touched beyond words. She felt a tiny ray of hope that just maybe her dear friend was recognizing the love the blonde had in her heart for her dear friend. The blonde also felt very privileged and grateful her sick friend would call upon her in her time of need. She rearranged her schedule and didn’t care what her husband said. She was going to stay with her friend no matter what. And so she did just that. Upon her arrival, her heart broke and she felt sick at her stomach at the deteriorating condition of her friend. She no longer looked the same. The blonde’s heart was greatly saddened. But she did not let her friend see her sorrow. She stayed with her and her daughter and was incredibly grateful she had that day with them. It was a day that would always stand out in her mind and a day she would treasure forever. At the end of the year, her friend was admitted to the hospital, where she spent her twenty-fourth birthday. The blonde came with her sister to visit her for her birthday. She was determined to not miss yet another one of her friend’s birthdays. Her friend was able to be discharged home rather quickly but then found herself back in the hospital not many days later. The blonde came to visit her there, even if she wasn’t able to see her. She wanted to be there for the family as well. Her friend would eventually be moved to hospice care. The blonde tried to visit as often as she could. She had long given up on obtaining her husband’s approval. She was not going to let him stop her any longer. She should have never let him stop her before. The seed of resentment and anger was already there amidst so many other problems with him. It was very hard to see her friend in such a place. It was difficult because it was just another sad reminder that she would not have long to live. Even if her friend wasn’t awake or alert, the blonde wanted to be there for her. She wanted to be there for her friend’s dear family. She was glad she was able to do those visits. She wished she would have done more. And then, on the day of the twenty first of January, she received a call from another long time friend, who was also friends with her brunette. She had died. She had fought so bravely and strongly for sixteen months. But now she was gone. The world went dark for the blonde. Her broken heart was complete. She immediately went to her friend who had passed. She needed to see her one more time. The tears kept flowing. They could not be stemmed. She entered the place and found her friend’s parents, hugging them, and not wanting to let them go. She entered her friend’s room with the girl’s mom. Her mother broke down. The blonde held her up and tried to contain her own emotions. She felt so sick. Her heart wouldn’t stop hurting. How could this be? How can her once dearest and closest friend be gone? She didn’t want to accept it, but the evidence lay before her. In those moments, her regrets, her anger, and her disappointment in herself rushed in like tidal wave. She could not breathe. How had it come to this? She had missed all of the most important things in her friend’s life, yet she was present at her death. How had she let the blindness of being in love keep her from such a wonderful person? The nausea set in more deeply. The tightness in her chest was unbearable. She refused to leave that place until the end. She could not leave. She needed to be close by. Her friend would never truly know the regret the blonde felt. The complete and utter disappointment in herself that she had failed her petite friend was ever present. The time before the funeral was a blur to the blonde. The showing was long and painful. She was glad to be there though. She wanted to be surrounded by those who had loved her friend and wanted to be near the family. The funeral was even harder. That is when the reality that her friend was truly gone, began to set in. She didn’t want to leave the cemetery when it was over; she wanted to stay as long as she could. She wanted to, once again, beg for her friend’s forgiveness even if her friend could not hear her. She wanted to tell her the pain she felt. She wanted to tell she wished she could go back in time and make the right decisions. But what could she do? She had to leave. And by leaving, a piece of her heart was left behind at that grave. Mary’s grave. Those words shouldn’t be real. But they are. A little over four years have gone by since her passing. So much has changed. The blonde is no longer married. She is working hard to make herself a better person and have a better life. She is working hard to make the right decisions. She always tries to be kind, be unselfish, and have a compassionate heart. She tries to make a difference in people’s lives when she can. No longer does she allow anyone to control her. And she always stays strong now in what she knows is right. She never wants to change from these ways. She only wishes she would have been this person years ago. She still feels great amounts of regret and pain regarding her dear friend Mary. It will be a burden she will always have to bear. She has no closure with this, nor does she think she ever will. Her heart still feels raw when she thinks about how such reckless decisions from long ago still haunt her. She thinks about how blind she was when it came to thinking she had been in love and how she let that affect her life so negatively. She had one of the greatest friends anyone could ever hope to have, and she had to toss her aside. She finally gained the courage to write about her pain. She needed to get it off of her heart; all of the pain and thoughts that tortured her endlessly. This is the atonement for her in a way. She has hopes that this might give her even the slightest bit of freedom. Her regrets are strong. Her only true hope that the passage of time will help to calm her soul, even if just a little.
I have been working hard to focus back on my writing and have been working on some various projects. Some take more time and effort while others have been more of a breeze. I have so many goals and ideas for my writing. I am so happy to actually be putting in the quality time I need to be successful at this. I am getting closer to finishing out my first big project, which is a novel I have been working on. It is the first of a series and I’m just proud I am getting close to actually completing it. So I decided to post the prologue and would appreciate any feedback. Thanks!
“The sun had begun its slow ascent into the clear blue sky while a few stray clouds floated lazily over the water. The water rolled onto the beach with ease. The sand was smooth and beginning to shimmer in the early dawn. A bird could be heard calling in the distance. This moment of nature seemed flawless. Nothing it seemed could touch or break its peaceful aura. The water continued to push it self gently against the sand, smoothing away the footprints that had been left behind; footprints that belonged to a lone woman walking along the water. From a distance this woman seemed to fit in perfectly with her surroundings. She moved gracefully across the sand, her long tan legs glided effortlessly over the sand. Her long blonde hair flowed all around her as the wind blew gently against her face. Her face was a flawless design of perfection. Her face had just the right shape, her cheekbones defined in the most becoming manner. Her lips were soft and formed into a perfect shape. Up close her beauty was beyond compare, yet her sapphire eyes were glistening with unshed tears, her mouth no longer smiled with the ease it once had. Thoughts of how life had gone wrong were crushing her very existence. Lost faces and terrified screams crowded her mind. The begging and pleading of nameless victims taunted her. Her mind taunted her “How could you do it? How could you be so evil?” In the midst of these self condemning thoughts a family appeared; a family of long ago, a forsaken family. The unshed tears slowly made their way down her soft cheeks. The woman felt herself crumbling. She wrestled with her thoughts, fought to hold her resolve until all that was left was the distant screams of those left behind. The beautiful woman had made it so far yet felt and knew she was a million miles away before she could ever be free…”
Today is National Sibling day so I want to take a bit of time to show my love for my siblings. I have more emotions today regarding them than normal. Perhaps because I am missing them so much due to my first week being away in a new home. I was very lucky to be in a family of five children and of course I count myself even luckier I was the youngest of these five. The bonds I hold with each sister and my brother are very dear to my heart. I would not be who I am today without their love, their support, their criticisms, and their care. As children, my sisters and I would play as much as we could outside, Barbies were a must, and of course we had endless indoor house activities we would come up with. The sky was the limit for our imaginations. I valued the time I shared with my sisters growing up and would not trade it for the world. Although there is a significant time gap between my brother and I, I have always adored and looked up to him. Saturday morning cartoons with him were quite honestly one of the biggest highlights of the week for me. As we have grown older, relationships have changed to hold more respect for one another and to have open honesty with one another. My sisters and brother have been there for me in my darkest times as well as my happiest times. We have all shared grief and sorrows, we have shared complete joy. I cannot imagine life without the craziness or silliness of when we are all together and the constant laughter that always occurs. I will always value their input, and always hold close their love. I will never let the bond of our friendship be broken. And I never want want us to drift apart.
“Our Paths May Change As Life Goes Along, But The Bond Between Us Remains Ever Strong.”
I am writing this much later than I intended but I wanted to write about a topic that holds incredible value and is something that is so very important to me. It can be a topic that people hold strong feelings towards and may become quite sensitive about but I strongly believe that people need to become more aware of it. April is the National Donate Life month for organ donation therefore I will be revisiting this topic a few more times this month. Organ donation is a need that is strong and will continue to be strong until people begin to learn the facts behind becoming an organ donor and understand the profound affect they could one day have on one’s life. Currently there are more than 123,000 people in the United States on the waiting list that are waiting for a lifesaving organ transplant. Names are added to that list every twelve minutes. On average, 21 deaths occur a day due to the lack of available organ donors. These statistics make me incredibly sad. I think about my family and those I love. What if it the unthinkable happened to them? What if they needed an organ that would save their life and there was none to be found? I would be so angry to know that their life could have been saved by someone who had passed but had not made the decision to become an organ donor. Someone deceased could potentially save up to eight lives and help up to fifty other lives. Organs that can be donated after death are the heart, liver, kidneys, lungs, pancreas and small intestines. Tissues include corneas, skin, veins, heart valves, tendons, ligaments and bones. How wonderful and far we have come in the medical world to be able to save lives this way. And what a beautiful last gift someone could give another. There are many things that need to be understood when it comes to organ donation.
If people would just take the time and understand what it actually means and the positive effect it could have on someone else’s life, they may actually change how they feel about this topic. Too many people buy into the several myths of organ donation and do not want to take the time to educate themselves on what being an organ donor is or what it means. I am going to show what a few of the myths are and the facts that disprove them in hopes that people will take the time to learn. Hopefully this will help to open people’s eyes and give them an awareness they had not had before. One myth in particular is a major one that keeps people from making the life changing decision. This myth is that the hospital will not work as hard to save your life if you are an organ donor. The actual fact is that the doctors at the hospital are concentrating on saving your life only. The doctor that is overseeing your care is one who specializes in the problem or emergency you are having. He or she has nothing to do with organ transplantation. The transplant team is a completely separate team. Another myth that makes people nervous is that they won’t really be dead whenever the death certificate is signed. However, the fact is, the people who are organ donors are given more tests to conclude that they are actually dead than are those who are not organ donors. Other myths include organ donation being against the person’s religion, it will cost the family more money, and that the rich and famous are put at the top of the list. The facts show that organ donation is consistent with several religions including Catholicism, Protestantism, Islam, and Judaism. If not certain, check with your clergy or go online to http://www.organdonor.gov which provides further information on religions and their views of organ donation. It will not cost the donating family more money to donate their loved one’s organs. Those costs are covered by the family receiving the donation and the only costs the donating family is responsible for are the costs associated with the effort in trying to save the donor’s life. The rich and famous are not put at the top of the list. They are actually given an internal assessment to ensure they had not been given priority over others. Please take the time to visit http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/organ-donation/art-20047529 if you have heard about any more myths that I have not mentioned. The facts behind them are there for you to see. Knowing the facts and choosing to become an organ donor is a choice that would be one of the most selfless choices one could make due to the impact it could have on one or more persons. Life is beautiful and full of happiness and sorrows. It is full of tough choices. Decisions have to be made that are not always easy. But the choice of becoming an organ donor should be simple choice. Do you, if the unthinkable did occur, want to help someone else live a long and full life? Would you want the same chance given to you? I am going to be sharing stories of those who have been affected by organ donation and stories of donors themselves over the next few weeks. They are beautiful stories that need to be shared. I cannot fully express my passion over organ donation. I wish there was more I could do to make more people more aware. I wish I would convince the world this is the right choice to make. For now I must be satisfied by this. Even if just a few people take the time to read this, I am letting my voice be heard.
Please feel free to leave your thoughts. I would love to hear others’ views or perspectives on this topic.
So today was my second official day in New York City. I arrived yesterday midmorning incredibly exhausted due to staying up all night the previous evening. I took little naps on the plane but that wasn’t enough. Once I arrived, I unpacked everything immediately which is rather amazing for me to actually have accomplished. It has been such a nice feeling to have everything put away though. We went out and celebrated me being here and then today I had some solo adventures. The point of this blog tonight was to say how utterly fascinating and empowering I am finding this wonderful experience to be. Even though I was tired and wore out, I was able to rally and enjoy a little night out with lovely people. It continually astounds me how much diversity is here and I love it. I love seeing so many different people and wonder what their lives are like. I love seeing all of the different places and dreaming of where I want to be and how I want my life to turn out. I dream about what I want to accomplish and feel motivated to make my dreams a reality. I feel a sense of pride knowing I am taking on this new experience with all that I have. There have been a couple of times where I felt a little intimidated but I just tell myself to be strong and keep pushing forward. I think many people can relate to this feeling. What a triumphant feeling it is to hold your head up high and face new experiences. Yes, you may be a little scared, but knowing that you didn’t allow that fear to control you is by far, a most satisfactory feeling. I encourage anyone to follow their dreams and do not let fear hold them back. The amount of pride I have for actually coming to New York far surpasses any of the doubts or worry I had. Even though I am only in day two, I know this was indeed the right decision. I know that I will continue to face new and unknown adventures. It is something I look forward to. No matter where you are, stretching yourself to do something new and different is honestly one of the best things anyone could ever do for themselves. You get to know yourself in a new way and you find your strength. Becoming a stronger person who knows themselves fully is a goal I intend to reach. I am certainly on my way to reaching that goal and I just need to keep pushing forward no matter what.
Today was beyond a gorgeous day. Perfect temperatures and beautiful skies. It was the kind of day where your windows are down so you can feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. It was day filled with hope and promise yet there was an overhanging sense of nervousness. That sense of nerves was due to an impending surgery of someone I adore was going to be experiencing. In fact, it was to be the sixth surgery on his right knee in the past six years. In order to understand why it was a day mixed with feelings of hope and anxiety, there needs to be an explanation provided. You see, with each surgery he has undergone, more pain, frustrations, and disappointments have occurred instead of the positive results that have continually been promised. It has made my heart ache to see someone so strong, become so down and in so much pain due to the ineffective treatment he has received from Veteran Affairs. Here is a man, who wanted to devote his life to serving his country in the Marine Corps. However, due to an unfortunate turn of events, he was to be medically discharged due to injuring his knee. Although, I did not yet know him, I can only imagine the complete disappointment he must have felt at having to let go of what he had hoped would be his lifelong career. After knowing him for the past two and a half years, I can read that disappointment in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he talks about his time in the service. I can also see how happy that life had made him. I would give anything for time to be reversed and for him to not have his injury and to still be an active service member, even if it meant not meeting me. He means too much for me not to want him to have the life he had hoped to have. Instead, here we are, years later, preparing for a sixth knee surgery. It makes me angry and sad that the care and treatment he has received from Veteran Affairs has been insufficient and a complete waste of time. It has caused further damage to his knee which has led to so many other problems for him. To be honest, it’s not fair. It is frustrating and heartbreaking. And when people are ignorant and have a lack of understanding of what he has had to deal with, I am instantly angry. Anyone that knows me can attest to the fact I am not a person who instantly becomes angry. But when I see the lack of care he receives, the minimal patience that is directed towards him, and just the complete disregard of kindness of people, it upsets me greatly. This is a man who had wanted to serve his country, but whose life has instead been put on hold due to the several instances of incompetence of the VA and who just wants life to be somewhat normal again. What person wants to spend every day on the phone trying to get through to people who will help and listen? Who wants to spend every day repeating that same routine from the day before of trying to get the VA to do their job? He spends every day with disappointment and pain. He doesn’t deserve that. He deserves to feel good. He should be able to walk without pain. To be able to do some of the things he enjoys such as working on projects, go for a walk, and work out. To no longer have his knee snap and cause such excruciating and unbearable pain. And one of the biggest things would be to work again. It’s hard on him not to be able to do the work he wants to do. He is such a strong person, stronger than he realizes sometimes. He has a good heart. He has a bigger heart than he likes to admit. He tries so hard to make his life better. Finally, after all of the stress, heartaches, strain, and disappointments, we are hopefully at a turning point today with this surgery. Several weeks ago, he finally was able to get through to our Congressman who has since then become involved. This involvement allowed for him to be able to see a good doctor here in town who determined that he would need another surgery, but is confident this surgery will resolve the issues. That surgery took place today. It went by quickly and we are now back at home to begin the recovery. The doctor truly believes this surgery will actually help to get his life back to a more normal state. How lovely that would be. My fingers are crossed and I am feeling optimistic this is what he needed. Time will tell if the promises of the doctor are to be believed. All we can do for now, is keep pushing forward with his recovery and face whatever the future holds.